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your pensive blogger, last spring. 

GOOD EVENING.  I may be preaching to the choir tonight; I am a lone voice “out West,” somewhere in Colorado irrelevant to the very persons to whom I listen, whose incisive intellects, ability to cut through all the noise and confusion, mean so much to me.

As I listened to no bull analysis on MSNBC tonight i.e. Melber, Matthews, Hayes, Maddow and O’Donnell, what has happened to us all has become crystal clear, and turns on Vladimir Putin’s incredible feat of having put Donald Trump as useful fool and prime asset into the White House.

As the conspiracy theory which says in brief that the Ukrainians not the Russians hacked the 2016 election unfurls before our very eyes, lying next to my husband,  I likened  what has happened to our government to a toxic rose opening in a slow motion implosion to reveal a black heart– black with corruption, Trump as demon seed-moron i.e. massively ignorant and lacking any appreciable intellectual capacity.–  see the inanity and insanity of his NATO performance today.

Such is the limited utility of a toxic rose to describe, for me, the intolerable.

We thought we were focusing on a quid pro quo for Trump’s personal gain and his use and abuse of a vulnerable country fighting for its survival, but said implosion reveals now what Intel Committee Adam Schiff calls a “scheme” spearheaded by consiglieri Rudolph Giuliani and his henchmen to turn our very country into a satellite of Russia.

Do any of these people have any awareness of what has happened to themselves? I may sound insane myself to the uninitiated, a conspiracy theorist myself, but if you read, digest and study the facts, review the testimony of the witnesses and attempt to fathom a purpose to it all, you realize the following has happened to the United States of  America:

For years Putin has been indoctrinating  Trump, so that he has become a true Manchurian Candidate.

For some time, predating 2019, Giuliani has been listening to corrupt Ukrainian officials with ties to Putin who have inspired him to cook up a plan to absolve Trump, so that he, America’s Mayor, has himself been turned and is doing the bidding of the Russians. This does not mean in any sense or by any measure that Ukraine hacked the election.

Meanwhile Parnas and friend, Shreks One and Two, have themselves been waging an influence campaign, cf piece on Parnas in the New Yorker.

The convoluted conspiracy theory which has been attenuated by a host of paranoid and speculative postings, opinions involving one John Solomon and others, has done nothing less than indoctrinated Pompeo, Mulvaney and others constellated around Trump into an alternative reality from within which the rest of us are hostiles from a “deep state.”

William Barr, once respected as Bush Sr’s AG, suffers from paranoia; he sees white rabbits everywhere, i.e. conspiracies to limit presidential power re impeachment inquiry which is really about presidential abuse of power; that the Left in our country is out to get religious practice et seq.  See his talks on tape at Notre Dame in October and at the Federalist Society last month.

Formerly sane and perceptive people such as Lindsey Graham and John Kennedy R-LA have also been turned, together with paranoid, gullible and themselves intellectually challenged Nunes, Jordan, Meadows, McCarthy, Johnson and others who fail to see that their theory utterly absolves Donald Trump of any wrongdoing whatsoever.

So it is that with the adulation and cult propagation of further wacko theories, Donald Trump is now operating as “the force that through the green fuse drives the flower,” –rose imagery again; a one-man death machine the mechanisms of whose Adderall-addled brain are destroying the entire Republic, i.e. abrogating the rule of law and shredding the Constitution.

The question becomes this:  why is it that half of us have been turned into Russian assets and the rest of us see through all of the fakery, smoke, mirrors, lies, deception and bullshit?

The phenomenon of projection and the mechanics of brainwashing have long interested me.  I wish I were not fascinated, and I certainly wish I were not terrified.

But we must refine and hold on to a high level of incisiveness to endure what has befallen us and indeed, to take to the streets.  

The desire to appease and please a leader, to be close to power, paves the way for corruption and the cross-pollination of ideas which have nothing to do with reason and truth. Or fact.  Take the small and malleable minds of the members of Congress I have named; imagine the fertile bed of doubt and how suggestible doubt makes us, how over time we can each question ourselves about what is true not only about ourselves, but our world.

I think of my own indoctrination into the world view of AA, which is predicated to a great extent on a politics of fear and shame. Look at how you have fucked up your life, AA trumpets through the persona of founding stockbroker Bill Wilson. Even though AA is right about many things, it is hamstrung by how it shames the vulnerable.

Shame and doubt indeed conspire within us to make us vulnerable, suggestible. Those we admire and need to shore us up buy into certain ideas and we begin to consider such ideas as new truths, new facts.  It is not long before we find ourselves drawn in.

Consider the tactics of Muslims in Algiers in the 50’s and how individuals became radicalized by Imams; Muslim women cut their hair, shed their robes and mingled with crowds in cafes carrying bombs in their purses.  They blended in and gave themselves entirely to nationalistic fervor, revolutionary fervor, until they died for want of a nation, having strewn bodies in the streets. It would be several years until a  peaceful groundswell movement in which all took to the streets and the French withdrew.

Hitler converted Germans with his youth movement and the Volkswagen. He appealed to nationalistic fervor and capitalised on post WWI disillusionment.  He began to speak of racial purity and that Germany should be restored, so that he ghettoized the Jews.  History tells this tragic story which is the story of how one insane man, drunk on power and ambition, could murder 6 million with the machinery of those converted to his madness and campaign of terror.-

Putin is ex KGB.  He and the GRU have succeeded in annexing the United States of America into the new Russia, an extension of his ambition.

In the 70’s I met one Tom Wayman, a “radical,” a member of SDS, a poet with the heart of a revolutionary.  As his lover I underwent the process of radicalization, drawn into his orbit, craving his approval and finding other misfits in need of acceptance.

We were powerless in the face of the Viet Nam War and we rose up. I participated in the takeover of the Agriculture Building on the campus of Colorado State University at the crack of dawn one winter morning.  I tied up a terrified janitor, and at the last minute, as the cops closed in, I convinced Tom, who was willing to go to jail, that he was more effective as a teacher and Movement leader.

I read what he told me to read, like The Wretched of the Earth, by Franz Fanon, Algerian.  I became, at the age of twenty, convinced that we could only save our country through a revolution.

Time swept me and others into other things.  We could not maintain the position of rage; we each needed to grow and move on.

But now I see our country in ruins, on fire.  There has never been a more dangerous time.

I follow Michael Moore, finding myself in need of inspiration,  and I now am convinced on the eve of what is sure to be a circus of grown men who do not see that they have been flipped by Vladimir Putin, that what is happening in Hong Kong must happen here.  What happened in Algeria must happen here.

John Meacham says this: we have devolved to the point at which we see what we believe, rather than believing what we see.

It is time to act; living in Ameria under Trump is hell.  God help us all.