God, I honestly think that I feel like choking the living shit out of a whole bunch of people.
John Boehner. Mitch McConnell. My so-called neighbors, rude, self-centered. The unresponsive guy who owns and runs the place. The English Department.
I mean really, people. What is it that people don’t understand about civil rights, when there’s so much info online on the ADA and the Fair Housing Act.
What is it that people don’t get about making simple requests, about civility, courtesy and the rest.
My experience with anger is that I generally spin out in quicksand rather than resolving anything. I try as hard as anyone to keep it in check, but I have a lot of it. I’d have to drink ten glasses of Vicodin a day not to feel it, or shoot heroin, or go back to ye olde drug of choice, alcohol. In any form, anywhere, any time.
It’s a particularly rough time in that I am therefore losing faith and confidence in other people and in myself, after making a lot of progress. Last night I cried through the entire two hours of the Downton Abbey rerun on PBS; such lucky people, to have had each other as a family, or a community of valets and footmen and chauffeurs and the rest. O to have Lady Mary’s problems, her wardrobe, her wonderful parents, her estate and suitors.
I try to understand how it is that I came to be so utterly isolated and withdrawn from my community and recently, the online community and it all mystifies me. I only know that it hurts, and that I have lost mega-amounts of trust in others.
So what I do is the next thing. It is the simplest solution; when I am afflicted with doubt and fear and frustration and anger, I do the next thing in front of me.
And– don’t knock what you haven’t tried– I rock my dolls in the dark, and something in me feels calmer.
Scary. To feel and be so alone. But I’ll stop now. Forgive me for venting. For everyone who is dealing with the eviscerating loneliness that comes on this time of year, you have my profound empathy.
Dear Jen, I know a little how hard this time of year can be, I have spent a few Christmas Eve’s and Days without family and have felt very sad. Now I try to focus on, Advent and singing, it helps me.I have been very lucky to be a member of a community in Maine with many single females and have spent time with them during the holidays. But Chriistmas Eve without family and friends has been the hardest for me, even when I have church to attend. Your wonderful poems and prose are your true salvation, I can see you and many wonderful connections through them and enjoy sharing with others, thank you for the beautiful poem you sent this week which I sent to Nate on his phone, I know he will enjoy it having been a naviagator for his ship. Love to you and Peace. Lysbeth
Bless you, Lys– thank you. Love to you and Nate…xxxj
Just think. If our society didn’t place such a huge burden on us to participate in this whole Christmas thing, you would feel no lonelier than usual in December. This burden is heavy for me as well. If I were assured that all children found wonderful presents under the tree and had plenty to eat for their Christmas celebrations, I would be satisfied to let it go. But, this scenario is impossible. Children will wake up hungry to nothing. Shame on our society for the unrealistic expectations, for the sadness. So, no tree. No decorations here save some pretty poinsettias I bought from a school to support their fundraising efforts. (I quite like flowers, so having winter ones around is appropriate.) No lights. No carols. We are concentrating on making Christmas something for the at-risk children my daughter counsels. Children of drug addicted parents. Children living with elderly grandparents on social security. Children whose mental aptitudes outperform their parents’. These children deserve NOT to be disappointed and hungry one more year since their “parents” don’t have the wherewithal to sign up for the angel trees in the world. I wish we could stop the madness of this holiday, but alas, the commercial world cannot survive without huge sales in December. Someday I will follow my dream and escape to a place for the month of December. Away from the madness. For now, I will enjoy the isolation on our farm. I like isolation. I wish you this peace, Jenne. Someday you will have to explain the reason you feel so alone. Point me to that essay, and I will try to understand and give you support.
Thank you, Emily. I think I must like isolation in the sense of having time, room, the imperative to be one’s fullest self– which tells you that in the company of others I have always thought I had to defend myself or claim the right to exist. Old tapes…. xxxj
Please edit “I were assured” to “If I were assured.