If you’re a popular culture fanatic you’ve heard about the Toddlers and Tiaras star Honey Boo Boo—who really at times, seems like a two year old accident of genetics with blond hair—but is a Reese Witherspoon compared to her elephantine mother. Mom reminds one of nothing as much as the inter-species offspring of an African hippo and an under-evolved white ape.

Tsk tsk, I hear you saying.

Seriously. And the whole craze more than harks to bestowing the nickname Womney Boo Boo on our man from Mars and the GOP, the Mittens, the Morman Mugwump Sugerdaddy.

Because Mitt Romney, as a salty Aussie friend would say, could fuck up an orgasm.

We’ve seen it for months, beginning in the primaries when he told Southern conservatives, “I like grits, y’all,” his Detroit misstep: “I love cars—my wife has two Cadillacs,” and, in getting to know PM David Cameron and slamming the UK by questioning whether London was prepared for the Olympics.

We’ve watched him stumble hard in discussing the nasty business of the rights of the Palestinians with Netanyahu and insulting Mexico and the Arabs in the process. There have been a plethora of embarrassments at every campaign stop, in his out of tune God Bless America, his utter lack of dimension and savoir faire.
Then came the biggest gaffes: i.e. two weeks ago: the Campaign’s release under Romney’s signature of a press release condemning the Obama Administration for apologizing to terrorists, whatever that means, even as our embassy in Benghazi was under attack and we learned we had not one but four dead state department people, and as time went by, that we had been trumped once again by terrorists on 9-11.

This sort of opportunism, i.e.slamming a president in the middle of a crisis, has no dignity; it’s disgusting, and betrays Mitt Romney for the charlatan he is.

And, no sooner had we absorbed what took place in Libya and the tsunami of anti-American protests in the Middle East and elsewhere, here came the cardiac arrest-inducing video tape in which Romney calls 47 percent of the American people eager to take hand-outs to his rich friends.

Mitt Romney is likely a good father and a sweet husband but seriously—in terms of stepping into the shoes of the leader of the free world and making all of us feel like we’ve free-fallen into capable hands, not so much.

Will it ever stop? What’s next? Even George Will slammed him in the WSJ today around his comment that “We’ve never had redistribution” in this country, making the point that taxation and entitlement programs and other centralized diversion of money are exactly that.

One over-arching criticism of the Boo Boo is that he has provided us with no idea of what he will do if he’s elected.

The most recent example of this glaring flaw came this past Sunday via his running mate: On Faux News Chris Wallace pressed Paul Ryan on the specifics of the oft repeated claim that this dynamic duo will close loopholes in curing the sick economy. Ryan’s excuse was that he didn’t have time to recite numbers.

Laura Ingram, one of the few visibly smart right-wingers who doesn’t seem to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown, also faulted him on-air for being so damned indefinite.


We the opinionated can’t stress this enough; Romney is not a member of the noblesse oblige in the classical sense.. The very fact of his Mormonism indicates that he is not cut of the cloth he thinks he is; money is no substitute for breeding and sure as hell doesn’t buy the instinct to use oneself and resources for the public good.

There used to be a faction of the Republican Party that was truly patrician, in the sense of there being among us people my mother would call well-bred, but who were humble about their gifts, their intellects, and the cachet in their blood and bloodlines to make a difference. Barbara Bush is a remnant matriarch of such people. The country was founded by such people.

I come from patrician conservative stock, silver spoons and all, and my parents always discouraged me from talking down to others, and to help them in significant ways. Those good Anglicans would have dropped dead in consternation at the Romneys and all of their friends having anything at all to do with the mayorship of an outhouse, much less daring to aspire to move into the White House. Yes, my mother would have called him cheap and clueless, as in unrefined, lacking in vision, not a born leader..

Most concerning in my view: the matter of positions taken that change literally with their audience as in, his recent writing off of half of the American public as being on the dole—and within days, reconstituting himself as a man of the people who pops out of the cuckoo clock saying, “I’m for the 100 percent.”

Not only is the man’s credibility in question, but, his integrity. Does anyone trust him? To do what, exactly. Do we really need to put up with somebody who bird-dogs people in need and sees them in such antiquated terms, as in the old post hoc ergo propter hoc—if people are on welfare they must not want to work? .

What are the odds that Romney, despite alleged months of debate prep, won’t shoot both feet and put them in his mouth, that next to the polished and voluble Obama he’ll come off like the rich out of touch clown he is?

Not high. The minute he spins an issue or misplaces the zingers he is reportedly memorizing in seclusion, the trap of Barack Obama’s true rhetorical skill will snap his neck. And Womney Boo Boo will go down.