Foxes at Twilight — revision
.
In flashing sable
quickness, up onto the fading deck
comes the fox
swollen with kits, yipping at the cats
.
Sending a dog out
into the dark, I remember
that I gave away my mother’s suede coat
threw out or forgot a last box–
.
The straw hat with a thin red ribbon
she wore to meet my father
back from the war
.
She looks out
from the stern topaz eyes
of an owl the color of the cottonwood
.
She asks, as the moon trembles
on the horizon
are you going to write
that my rage was love?
.
ii
Two foxes course in
through the near-dark,
come in to take, in the taking
.
Giving back presence,
an afterglow, the body
of the world
.
I drink a glass of twilight
I see the dusk through glass
so that it is something more than dusk
it is a mirror of time
in that mirror clouds on fire appear
and disintegrate.
.
My face there, with trees
growing across it,
a garden no one has watered
in a decade, my mouth.
.
copyright 2010 Jenne’ R. Andrews
Loquaciously Yours 
I like very much what you’ve done with this, Jenne. There’s a clear narrative arc. Very vivid images, with little details such as that “thin red ribbon” on your mother’s hat that help create a more developed impression or portrait.
I do like “in flashing sable quickness” and “an owl the color of the cottonwood”. Those are the kind of images that come from a poet who understands the landscape (and I mean that both literally and metaphorically).
I also admire how you’ve made the associations between, for example, your dog and the fox and the suede coat; the moon and the light in the glass; the clouds and the trees growing across the face.
Excellent!
Thanks, Maureen. I like it too but it is always so helpful to get someone else’s impression– will stop by “your place”– xxxj
Please visit award-winning, published writer Jenne’ Andrews ‘ new WordPress blog at http://www.loquaciouslyyours.com . Click the “comment” link at the bottom of any post, and sign up to receive an e-mail flash of new content.
Beautifully developed, Jenne.
She looks out
from the stern topaz eyes
of an owl the color of the cottonwood
These lines, followed by the remark about “love” were chilling for me. My own mother was “difficult” and I struggle with that same question!!
Gerry
Thanks a bunch, Gerry…xxxj
Please visit award-winning, published writer Jenne’ Andrews ‘ new WordPress blog at http://www.loquaciouslyyours.com . Click the “comment” link at the bottom of any post, and sign up to receive an e-mail flash of new content.