Now: Just read Lisa Romeo’s brilliant essay on postpartum depression on her blog here. Synchronicity rules the day, evidently: I had written about depression this morning to be less depressed– hah– and now feel better about my post.
So… here goes, and meanwhile, please check out the wonderful Huff Post piece on yesterday’s live healthcare jam here … Write on, fellow cyber brothers and sisters….
Earlier:
Before I indulge myself in continuing to write the story of a trip I took many years ago, a writing project that is uplifting and exciting for me now that many moons have shone and withered away, I am compelled to address yet another tough subject: depression.
I was watching some commentary this morning on the suicide of a former child actor. An opining psychologist made the point that sufferers of acute depression become cut off from their own gifts and accomplishments, often saying that it feels as though those things were done by someone other than themselves.
This statement illuminated what has long been my own bewilderment and that of people close to me regarding sustaining a writing and publishing life when I had such a great start in my twenties and into my thirties.
I inherited depression; it is an old friend and an old nemesis. I believe in fighting it. I do it every day, pushing myself on when I don’t want to. I make myself accomplish some small thing and lately have been graced by daily visits from the Muse, so that I am motivated to write and begin to reconnect to the artist me.
I have written about my depression at its worst in one of the vignettes or flash memoir pieces I hope to one day pull together in a complete manuscript, but I have been reluctant to post it here; I’ve already mined heavy subjects that address it albeit obliquely.
I will say that I know first-hand that when you sink to a certain level, no one can make the surface-dive to bring you back up from the bottom but you. It doesn’t matter how many kind and wise people you’ve seen who have gotten out a prescription pad, or helped you understand yourself. It has to come from within.
I took a moment this morning to honor the young man whose body was found in a park in Vancouver. I wish he had checked in somewhere, or in the penultimate moment, found some way to lay his hands on life and keep going.
Emotional weather is in flux. Times of grief, sorrow and emptiness pass. It is a grave mistake to move into one of those rooms and furnish it and take up a life in it. It invites disaster.
My depression has pulled me under numerous times. It is the amok orca grabbing me by the hair; it wants me dead or alive. I had a therapist once who said that I should let my feelings move through me and not try to stop or control them–good advice, but sometimes I have to kill the darkness within or be killed by it.
I also believe in help– the help of anti-depressants and therapists, and I have that help.
But lately, there has been no help as powerful as the comment left on my blog yesterday by new writing friend Sweepy Jean, or the letters I receive daily from my new friend Patti, who blogs at Fools Like Me, or the support of my companion of two decades, my “wasband” Doug, or that my own brother with whom I share the dark genes, paints, skiis and otherwise lives on…Thank you for pushing me down the slalom course with your love when I don’t think I’m up to it.
I don’t think I can post a link here, but if anyone wants to they can cut and paste to go read Lisa Romeo’s essay: http://sweetlit.com/essay_cradle_and_all.html It was an eye opener for me.
I kept diaries when I was young, and though it’s been a while, I remember years back rereading one from my junior year in high school in which I spoke of suicide. The passage of years and the inevitable donning of rose-colored glasses had served to all but remove a particularly painful time in my life. Still, it surprised me that I’d ever had those thoughts, for I never remembered having them.
I believe, as you say, that the decision to overcome depression has to come from within. It still amazes me how much of life is lived in the mind and how right or wrong decisions can either make us fall further into despair or help us build the steps we need to climb out of it.
As for that slalom course, my husband’s always telling me to relax when I ski, to “trust my legs”. The more you ski the easier it gets. You’ll be back in shape in no time once you get your ski legs 🙂
Love ya,
Patti
Thanks Patti– I so value and appreciate your comments and insights, as you know. Thanks for posting link to that essay. xj
I think everyone is just telling you what they already see in you, which is strength. We all go through our peculiar type of pain, so you’re not alone.
Grazie, Sweet Sweeps….. Yes we do. I wanted to address depression– and you might find the article Patti linked to interesting….xj
Hello Jen,
Thanks for your lovely words about my essay, Cradle and All. A tough one to write, and I’m really gratified each time I hear that it hit home for a reader.
Thanks, Patti, for posting the link to the piece over at SweetLit.com.
ON the subject of depression, there is an article in today’s (2/28) NYTimes Sunday Magazine which suggests an evolutionary reasoning for the malady; and that depression actually serves us in some way….well, I’ve just skimmed it and need to read it more fully, but that possibility certainly seems to make some sense. Why else might it be so persistent? On off days, I feel as if I will never accomplish anything; yet but on my better days, I know that I accomplish a lot more than most others who are on an even keel all the time.
Stay well.
Lisa
Thank you Lisa– I’m sure your piece was really hard to write but it paves the way for the rest of us to open our mouths and tell something like it is. I am very glad it found a home and I hope you include it in your collection…. all best– j
Please visit award-winning, published writer Jenne’ Andrews ‘ new WordPress blog at http://www.loquaciouslyyours.com . Click the “comment” link at the bottom of any post, and sign up to receive an e-mail flash of new content.